Monday, April 18th, 2011
Filed under A Writer's Life
so he changed his socks…twice.
I’d hoped and prayed that this post would be a celebratory one. I’d entered a pitch contest back in February that got put off until April. I’d hoped to win, but I didn’t. Right now, the rejection stings, but I’ve had my chocolate and a bit of a cry, gone to the grocery store to hunt and gather this week’s menu items, and am going to set the book aside until tomorrow before I figure out what to do with it. A closed door means an open window, right? It’s just for once, I’d really like to knock on the right door the first time….sigh.
Being an author is uber discouraging at times…so, I decided since I couldn’t celebrate, I’ll share another dark part of my life.
One of my sons suffers from RAD (reactive attachment disorder). He always has to be first, in control, and the center of attention. Unfortunately, ‘good‘ kids, the ones who self-entertain, dress themselves, do their homework with little assistance, and play with their friends without huge drama DON’T get lots of attention. So…my little RAD-let strives to be naughty, naughty, all-the-time. I know I get tired of all the shenanigans, so you’d think his little brain would be absolutely exhausted with coming up with new and different ways to annoy me, no, make that everyone.
I’ve been trying to be more of a therapeutic parent…to not parent the way I parent all my other kids, but to be more understanding, empathetic, and tolerant, and it’s TOUGH, tough, tough. I try to ignore those pesky attention-getting behaviors, the ones he pulls to make sure I’m watching him like a hawk (I am, believe me, it’s the only way of keeping my hair gel out of my contact saline solution or the toothpaste from being squirted into the drain until it clogs the sink. (Yes, I know, all kids do things like this when they are two, three, sometimes four. My RAD-let is almost 8 — old enough to know better).
For the past three years, his favorite morning stunts are putting clothes on backwards, wearing shoes on the wrong feet, refusing to eat what everyone else is having for breakfast (lunch, or dinner) but wanting something different. Now, it would be another story IF he knew what he wanted. He might, but it’s not about the food, it’s about the control. He wants me standing at attention, waiting for a word to fall from his royal highness’s lips. If I try to walk off, he’ll call me back stating that he’s made up his mind. Don’t be fooled, he hasn’t. If you do turn your attention back to him, he’ll pretend to think, and think, and think some more while the clock is ticking closer and closer to the time to leave for school, church, or wherever. Then, when he finally makes up his mind, there’s no time to eat, so he cries all the way to school. Yes, I know, OTHER kids do this….but do they pull the same stunt EVERY SINGLE MORNING? Day after day until you feel like you are losing your mind?
Last night, I bit my tongue when he put his pajama shirt on backwards, ignore the behavior and it goes away, right? Then, when I *approved* of the red socks he wanted to wear to bed, he changed out of them (and I ignored that, simply rolling up the red ones for him to wear another day as they were still clean). When I still didn’t remark on the change, by the time he climbed into bed, he’d changed them again.
My new favorite quote for my RAD-let is from Monster’s Inc. “I’m watching you….always watching you.” Roz
Till Next Time!