Friday, April 9th, 2010 | |
Filed under Uncategorized |
Wow – did this week go fast! The largest part of the issue is the Monday holiday, which caused Tuesday to be a Monday. Needless to say, I’m torn between wishing it was one more day long and being thankful that it’s over.
I did get some work on Nevermore done this week. I’ve done a preliminary edit of Chapters 1-3 (reading it out loud, smoothing out the prose, etc.). Then I hit Chapter 4. Ouch. Now, I knew it had issues… During the Donald Maass workshop in January, it was the scene that I worked on during the workshop. However, despite all that, it still needed help. Help came in the form of a “eureka” moment weeks ago. At about 4:30 in the morning, I suddenly realized what my hero’s “motivation” is. Now, I had a motivation to begin with — and I’ll still be using it as a sub-plot, but I now have his main motivation AND, even better, a way to tie the zombie issue in a bit stronger.
Amazingly, instead of being thrilled to bits to get my feet wet in editing and changing the manuscript, I’ve found that I’m dragging me feet. Why?
Fear.
Yep. Even with over 30 short stories, 18 novellas, and two full-length novels under my belt (figuratively), I am afraid to finish this novel. Why? Well, mostly it’s because I *think* this is, to date, the BEST thing I’ve ever written. THE BEST. It’s not only a story from my heart but it fits commercial expectations of the genre. But, what if I’m just biased? What if I send it out to agents and publishers and it’s not as good as I think it is? Worse, what if it sucks? I don’t want to send my manuscript out with high expectations of finally catching that elusive agent/NY contract, only to have my dreams dashed.
Yet, if I don’t finish it, polish it, send it out — I’ll never know.
Oh, what a tangled web we weave…
As for the family — let’s just say that everything went pretty well this week. Drama Teen forgot her change of clothes for picture day AND her PT clothes for ROTC today. But that’s okay…I had to make a trip out to the school campus anyway since one of my sons, I shouldn’t have to tell you it’s Kinderboy#1, put his foot in the toilet at school because his friend told him to and I had to run a change of pants to the school. Only pants, you ask? Yep, because, of course, my little RADish lied and said he slipped and fell in a puddle of pee in the bathroom without letting the office ladies know that he had a soggy shoe and sock as well as pant leg. Sigh.
Kinderboy#2, well, he’s just anxiously awaiting the arrival of the ice cream truck…